The Sound

“Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear” Run - Snow Patrol

A bloated moon was trying to con its way into my room early Saturday morning, as if it felt the need to witness my insomnia once again.

My eyelids finally weighed in over my thoughts and I do believe I drifted off for approximately fifteen minutes, or maybe a lifetime, depending on your perception. It was the “wee” hours, when most tongues are collectively engaged in something far more enjoyable than verbiage, or they have signed on for snoring and swallowing detail only, so it was relatively quiet.

These January nights allow for open windows and where I live in Florida is quite flat so noise of any kind carries through screens without effort. The soft rustling of eyelashes brushing pillow every time I blinked was the only recognized layer over the silence, until I heard the sound.

That sound. Many have heard it and for some, it was the last thing audible. The unforgiving, callous sound of taking. The sound that took everything from me once, so I knew what came next.

5:17 A.M. Ten minutes passed before I heard the sirens. No helicopters.

That evening, on my way to pick up my friends, I saw the herd of mourners already placing floral markers in the dark.

My return trip was encased in fog that even werewolves would stay out of (I wonder if they drive?). It was nearly 24 hours later.

I found the story on the internet. The sound took three, one with the same first name as mine who was taken from me.

The name immediately triggers thoughts about those eyes that used to see the real me without expectations - they see for someone else now. The heart that symbolically belonged to me (even though I didn’t deserve it) saved yet another. All in all, what was taken from me was given to 6 others.

I take that fact and cover my ears with it, but I can still hear the sound.

Currently listening:
Final Straw
By Snow Patrol
Release date: 2004-03-30

My Middle Beast Solution

(Please note the following is sarcastic. The author does not support occupations or invasions of any kind.)

“Bomb, bomb, bomb us back together
A new way into a lost answer” The Answer - Bloc Party

I say we solve this Middle East conflict in true American form.

Let’s pull an “Iraq” on Cuba and make it the new Israel! (Jew-ba?)



Why the fuck not? It makes perfect sense to me. It would be easy to do now that Castro is becoming all but obsolete, and I think we may actually get greeted with flowers this time (or at least a good sandwich). What’s another bearded led regime to us ay? It’s a perfect solution.

All Cubans will be absorbed into the U.S. boosting baseball to another level, and cutting down on raft deaths. They can just do a massive house swap with all the Jews in South Florida, who can then set things up for the Israelis to arrive.

I know there are religious based land issues, but if a mountain can be brought to Mohammed, then surely we can uproot a few sacred sites and transplant them “double wide” style for a couple of Seths and Rachels, no?

Now I know the weather would take some adjusting to, but hey, hurricane season is far more survivable than suicide bomber season. One other perk too, is if anyone starts feeling nostalgic about the old Israel, they can go picnic down in Guantanamo Bay and get screamed at by the Arabs imprisoned by the U.S. One afternoon full of “Death to Israel”s and that homesickness will float seamlessly away. Aaaaaahhhhhh.

There’s already a built-in cigar industry waiting for them, not to mention a tourist bonanza just waiting to happen (Disney on the Mount? Oy-Cot Center?).

I realize there are downsides. Making cigars legal will rapidly stink up the U.S., and when the Cubans find out they don’t have free health care here, they might get a bit pissy, but we need to focus on the positive. Particularly the saving of the billions of dollars that we send to both sides of this insanity every year. Maybe WE could have healthcare with that? Or you know, maybe some folks at the Pine Ridge Reservation could get some running water with that money - I’m just sayin’.

If we don’t do something soon, they may blow us all to Antarctica. I’m subject to chapped lips as it is and if I’m blown to bits, it’s much harder to apply the Burt’s Bees, ya dig?



Currently listening:
Tinderbox
By Siouxsie and the Banshees
Release date: 1990-10-25

She Shot

"Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me.
You know you've got my sympathy. but
don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me." Add it Up - The Violent Femmes

(Heheh you thought I'd put up "Happiness is a Warm Gun", but that's a heroin reference my sweets.)

My dream job at this point, aside from writing for "The Daily Show" or Jimmy Kimmel, would be to have my own cop series with an all female precinct.

I would play the cranky, seven time divorced captain. My girls Sabrina, Jean, Myla, and Kelly would be my detectives, and Candy would head up the K9 unit and be our bookie.

We would all play former skateboarders turned liberal cops. All would be borderline drunks that would never dream of going to rehab, and Denis Leary would direct and consult.

We'll start our own Lifetime Network branch, "Lifetime Fuck You" for the less sappy of our generation.

Actors need to be comfy with guns for parts like that, and yesterday a bunch of my dancing buddies and I cozied up to a variety of them: A PS-90, shotguns, 45's, and 9 mm's.

Can you believe a psycho like me is allowed to have a gun? (Some laws definitely need to be revised.)

I'm not a gun "nut" or advocate, but am not "anti-gun" either. I think getting behind some of those weapons helps one further understand what they can really do. I won't lie, I take to a Beretta like it's a pair of Italian boots, but shooting a 45 gave me the shakes and I had a lot of nightmares last night. I grew up with shotguns in Michigan (about 90% of all rural American Indians have guns specifically for shooting white people with), so those don't alarm me, but I will stick with the 9 mm's, thanks.

Yes, I am a "peace first", left wing liberal, but one that can step up to them Alaskan bitches if we're ever in a pinch. (That would be fucking hilarious.)

Me shooting a PS-90:



A rare pic where the shell casing is flying from the clip, just above my wrists:



When I yelled "Yeah I shot his dick off!" (referring to my target dude), everything got quiet and all my weaponry was swiftly confiscated:




Currently listening :
Don't Shoot Me Santa By The Killers
Release date: 2007-12-04

Perceiving Glasvegas

"I need to make sure you know that's just the prescription talking" Geraldine - Glasvegas

I just learned of the Glasgow based band "Glasvegas" when I saw them on TV recently.

Upon first listen of their song "Geraldine", my ears immediately stood up and applauded for like an hour. Yeah, they wrapped round the back of my head and stretched, so now I look like some white, Ubangi chick and I can't stop eating peanuts (good thing I have long hair).

The awesome thing about falling in love with songs is that you can do it frequently and never feel like you've let an earlier song down. You can love many at once and no one thinks you're a whore. You can love so hard that you lose your forehead, and nobody gets freaked out. There's never a break up; you just may kind of lose touch for a while. Not only are you allowed, but you're even expected to get back together for a quickie whenever you want - fucking bliss, that is.

I love this song.

I love it so much, I want to introduce it to my friends and protect it from people I'm related to.

I love it so much I would fly my plaid covered ass to New York next week to see the band play it live, but the Bowery is sold out and my connections there are all but severed (oops).

I'm a longtime fan of bands from Scotland (The Jesus and Mary Chain, Teenage Fanclub, Franz Ferdinand) mostly because they know how to keep things simple so that the melody stands out in a much more soul-ripping way. Simple, but not boring. Rich Costey (Muse, Interpol, Franz Ferdinand) did the production and I just want to lick his subtleties repeatedly.

Love is blind but it ain't deaf (lust is deaf but it has 20/20 vision).

Too bad songs are easier to love than people.


Currently listening :
Glasvegas
By Glasvegas
Release date: 2008-10-07

Floss the Ruined Verse

"I don't like playing ping pong
I don't like the Viet Cong
I don't like Burger King
I don't like anything" I'm Against It - The Ramones.

I was a bit inebriated the other night at a friend's when they decided we should watch "Across the Universe". I tried to be polite and warn that I hate when other people do Beatle songs (see my "Under the Coverz" blog for specific details), but I was outnumbered and told I would LOVE it.

Admittedly, I have an overwhelming personality at times, but the one girl making the case for this film is downright intimidating. I think if she pushed me into a corner and insisted that I was gay, I would immediately get online and send my mom a PFLAG sweatshirt.

I still mildly protested but then they drugged me, bound me to the couch with dental floss, and then put the toothpicks in my eyelids all Clockwork Orange style. Resistance was futile.

I don't think I've ever been told to "shut up" so much in my life, but I couldn't help myself. I did try to be flexible; I mean I've changed my mind before, but nope, not this time. The Jaws of Life couldn't pry open my mind. I'm glad they all enjoyed it, but seeing Bono dressed like Lemmy from Motorhead finally sobered me up. It was time to brave the dangerous, foggy drive home.

The second I got into my car, I grabbed my IPOD and caressed its black body in search of the real thing. No, no, no, you can't just go from that mockery straight to the MASTERS. No, one must cleanse the palate first.

Oasis. There couldn't be a better transition.

"Let It Be…Naked" had to be next, since I was feeling the PURIST in me. Even though I was a fan of Spector's early shit with the girl groups of the '60's, I like these recordings sans his "wall of sound" much better. See, I'm not completely against change =)

***************************************************************************************************************

The next day I was asked by someone else what the film was about. "Ruining The Beatles' songs," I replied.

Let them fucking be.

Currently listening :
Let It Be...Naked
By The Beatles

Happy Harmonica and Merry Syphilis!

"Ho F*ckin' Ho"

No I don't dress my cats and role play (ok, just on weekends, but we only do scenes from the first season of "Lost"). Scoob was messing about the decorations so I popped the cap on his head and zapped him into Nikon eternity. It's a minute he can't get back, but I thoroughly enjoyed it despite the lawsuit he filed against me for taking nudish photos of him and then posting them on the web. (He parades around here naked all the time, what does he expect?)

Well if you're into the holidays, then I hope they rock. If you think they suck and can't even feign going through the motions this year, then I hope they are swift and painless.

May your new year begin in the arms of a loved one, or at least a lusted one that you respect to whatever degree you are capable of.