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"The world today seems absolutely crackers, with nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high. There are fools and idiots sitting on the trigger. It's depressing and it's senseless, and that's why...I like Chinese." I Like Chinese - Monty Python
MMMMMmmmmm yummy, just finished some Chicken Mei Fun mixed with Chicken and Garlic Sauce, my two faves from China Wok. It's not as good as NYC Chinese food, but for where I live, it works.
When I did eat Chinese food in NYC, I ate off a plate, as you do, but you notice in a lot of New York based movies they have characters eating the food directly from the containers?
Who the fuck really does that?
These annoyingly, pretentious ass holes that put scenes like that in a flick think its artsy or some shit to be in NYC eating take-out that way. I think it's disgusting and completely implausible if you eat what I eat; hot food that mostly has to be mixed with some separate ingredients. So unless you despise the nerve endings in your hand, or fantasize about having a glove made of sweet and sour sauce, it's all about the plate.
I ate Chinese food on a weekly basis in NYC (often with Chinese people, who would sooner implode than eat from a container like that), and never once saw anyone scarfing from the boxes.
Maybe it's just me that finds this irritating. I do have some quirks (don't even get me started on white shoes - yikes), but let's get back to what I likes. =)
Ok, the Chinese are not known for their chart topping hits. In fact, I can't name one musician (that isn't Classical) from where the Pandas hang (if you can, I really don't give a rat's booty, go write your own blog), but they do have some wild movies.
"Mr. Vampire", hands down is my favorite. If you like really awful b-movies, this will kill you. It's totally a Fu flick, so martial arts cats will dig it no matter what, but stoners and those of you imbibing in various other things will LOOOOOVE it.
It's one of those cheesy films where you can sometimes see the wires that the actors are hanging from, and the jonesy musical score is superb!
I'm not a Fu movie fan by any shot, but I nearly laughed out of my skin when I saw this one (stone cold sober, might I add).
If you can tolerate a bouncy, glitch-filled youtube version, it is available there in about ten segments from this guy: http://www.youtube.com/user/meetou. As far as downloads in any other capacity (wink wink), I've not come across it.
I've no intention of ever going to China (unless I hook up with one of those Panda singles); as far as I'm concerned the "Great Wall" was the one holding up the back part of the stage at CBGB's (may it RIP).
Besides, I heard the Chinese food there isn't that great. :}
Currently listening :
Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album
By Monty Python
Release date: 2007-04-10
According to Myspace, Jesus Christ has a crush on me. Would someone please tell him I'm not into guys with beards? (Unless they're named Brian Thomas and went to NYU film school. The one that got away - he made me laugh. A lot.) And that shroud thingy; a little high waisted don't you think? They do make low rise shrouds these days, geeeeeeze Jesus, get with it!
Can you imagine dating Jesus Christ? Holy shit (literally), you'd never win a fight cuz he'd be all martyring and victimy, and he'd get blood on everything with those stigmatas. Who's gonna clean that shit up? Pas Moi! I can tell you right now that I would be talking through clenched teeth all the time about the differences in musical taste. I hates Christian rock (yes "hates", as in Yosemite Sam types of hatin'), and just the very thought of it makes me do the backwards hiss thing one does when one witnesses an epic fingernail break (the kind that involves the bending back first, then the rip to the nail bed, blood, and an endless run of expletives).
You notice that most Christian rock is Metal? I wonder if that's why beards and long hair are so prevalent in that world. I also wonder if Jesus' stig's count as the first body piercing, and is that what awaits us in the near fashionable future? Stig piercing?
Regardless, I think it's tacky of Jesus to be taking out ads on Myspace, claiming his love for me, when we haven't even kissed. Too smothering for my taste.
Myspace is insane. They try to customize the ads from your profile info, as you can see in the "sponsored links" below your inbox message area. Apparently, being single and agnostic has generated the computer to digitally insult my intelligence. I don't need any suggestions when it comes to shopping for beliefs, thanks so much, I can pick em out all by my lonesome.
In my "Who You'd Like to Meet" section, I put a "Giant Panda", so I get bombarded with ads for Panda singles chat groups, Panda anti-virus programs, and "Panda Ringtones". I haven't a clue what a Panda sounds like, but I'm reasonably sure it wouldn't suit my cellular needs.
Were I to have a proclivity for "Barely Legal Rocker Boys" and put that instead of "Panda", I wonder what the computer would surmise of that? Would I be showered with invitations to join NAMBLA? (Or NAWBLA since I'm a chick…is there? Oh wait no I think that's some sort of Teacher's association.)
I've seen worse on other sites, particularly one where I googled advice on my slightly underweight cat. I was deeply concerned for my furry snookiecookie-puss and the site popped up "dying cat ringtones". WTF? Is there a market for such a thing? I don't even want to participate in gaining the insight on that one. Right below it was some sort of feedback you could fill in for the "ad", if you can call it that. Oh yeah, I filled it out. My cat told me what to put, and it's much too controversial to repeat here. Suffice it to say, we got our point across.
I'd be curious to know if the people that are marked as "in a relationship" or "married" get a different barrage of ads. Well, maybe I wouldn't. =)
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Some of you may think that this post ensures my ticket to Hell.
What makes you think we aren't already there?
Currently listening :
Nine in the Afternoon
Release date: 2008-06-17
