Sunday, January 4, 2009

She Shot

"Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me.
You know you've got my sympathy. but
don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
." Add it Up - The Violent Femmes

(Heheh you thought I'd put up "Happiness is a Warm Gun", but that's a heroin reference my sweets.)

My dream job at this point, aside from writing for "The Daily Show" or Jimmy Kimmel, would be to have my own cop series with an all female precinct.

I would play the cranky, seven time divorced captain. My girls Sabrina, Jean, Myla, and Kelly would be my detectives, and Candy would head up the K9 unit and be our bookie.

We would all play former skateboarders turned liberal cops. All would be borderline drunks that would never dream of going to rehab, and Denis Leary would direct and consult.

We'll start our own Lifetime Network branch, "Lifetime Fuck You" for the less sappy of our generation.

Actors need to be comfy with guns for parts like that, and yesterday a bunch of my dancing buddies and I cozied up to a variety of them: A PS-90, shotguns, 45's, and 9 mm's.

Can you believe a psycho like me is allowed to have a gun? (Some laws definitely need to be revised.)

I'm not a gun "nut" or advocate, but am not "anti-gun" either. I think getting behind some of those weapons helps one further understand what they can really do. I won't lie, I take to a Beretta like it's a pair of Italian boots, but shooting a 45 gave me the shakes and I had a lot of nightmares last night. I grew up with shotguns in Michigan (about 90% of all rural American Indians have guns specifically for shooting white people with), so those don't alarm me, but I will stick with the 9 mm's, thanks.

Yes, I am a "peace first", left wing liberal, but one that can step up to them Alaskan bitches if we're ever in a pinch. (That would be fucking hilarious.)

Me shooting a PS-90:

A rare pic where the shell casing is flying from the clip, just above my wrists:

When I yelled "Yeah I shot his dick off!" (referring to my target dude), everything got quiet and all my weaponry was swiftly confiscated:

Currently listening :
Don't Shoot Me Santa By The Killers
Release date: 2007-12-04