Thursday, September 18, 2008

Accent Á Goo

"It won't take you long to learn the new smile.
You'll have to adapt or you'll be out of style.
It's always the same. You're jumping someone else's train."

Jumping Someone Else's Train - The Cure

I was perusing the "interweb", as I do, and ran across someone saying something to the effect of "I try to be more than a collage of the people around me". This really tugged at my peepers as the last few weeks I've been contemplating writing a piece about overly absorbent people. The type of folks (yeah I said "folks"; I'm originally from Michigan so kindly fuck off) that just are an amalgam of all that they inhale from other people's personalities. We used to call them "posers" when I was coming up, but I've no clue what label these self deluded frauds unknowingly cower under now.

These human barnacles are now more evident than ever with the advent of Youtube, Myspace, etc. Youtube in particular, where you'll see 6,000 different versions (or more) of people filming their friends watching "Two Girls One Cup" (which is a COPY of the movie trailer for "Hungry Bitches" - ah porn accuracy brought to you by Wikipedia), as if the first couple hundred weren't unique enough.

I've seen my own words (I don't OWN the words, but I put in an application for joint custody last week) from my blogging efforts painted elsewhere, assigning credit to authors who really only deserve to be violently stabbed in the balls. Too gender specific? The pilfering fuckwads do claim "MALE" status. Were they females, I'd build them two sacks myself, and then brandish something sharp (but lightweight like an industrial sewing needle) for unleashing some serious psycho voodoo pinning.

There are such a wide variety of these coat-tail dwellers that I think a series of blogs is how I will tackle the subject, ridiculous as it may be. Fuck it. I'm just killing time till time kills me, right?

At this point, I'd like to have a go at those who acquire faux English accents. If you're an American and have only been dating a teabag a week, and start throwing around "trainers" instead of "sneakers", um…you suck ass. Yeah, I've witnessed such a thing. This person lived in the south, but never said "Y'all". They called NYC home for a few years, but Brooklyn did not seize their tongue. Give them one week with a Londoner, and they slip in "trainers" like they've been saying it that way for years. They even seem shocked that you don't know what they're talking about. Thinking back on this, I'm just flabbergasted that I've never done time in prison for assault. Really.

You notice it's the English accent that these flimsy Americans (do Canadians do it too?) are always copping? I've known plenty of people that spent years in Scotland, Ireland, and Australia, and they've never affected those accents. Though, I'm certain that if Madonna had married Billy Connolly, she would've given it the old college try. I grew up in the same area (different ERA - I'm younger) that Madonna did, and homegirl couldn't scare up a proper New York accent for a film role in the '80's, so I can't imagine why she's trying to pirate one from the UK now. She's fuckin' Madonna, how is that not good enough for her? Why does she have to be English now? Does it magically transform you into some pure, clean, intelligencia that didn't shag (oh now I'm doing it) their way to the top?

Do these people know they're doing it? Do the English cringe as much as we do when they hear it?

I don't mind my accent; in fact, I actually enjoy the fact that it annoys people sometimes. It's not as thick as most mid-westerners, but it's quite evident that I hail from a place that heavily consumes various meat products (though I'm phasing them out, regretfully). My accent is the one used by newscasters, as it apparently is the most coherent voice the U.S. can choke out. Although, with my penchant for cursing, one would never connect my dialect with anything professional that wasn't accompanied with a parental advisory of some sort.

I always tend to be the "peer" character in the phrase "peer pressure", so it's difficult for me to cut these osmotic kleptos some slack. I'm just not a follower.

Unless, of course, you tell me to photograph myself bathing in milk, then its lemming time fo sho.

Currently listening :
By Sonic Youth
Release date: 1990-06-15

Yeah Yes Yep

I found the next song that I want on in the background (or foreground, I'm not picky) the next time I knock boots (if there ever is a next time, yeesh).

Autolux's "Turnstile Blues".

I first heard it last week when I started to watch "The Air I Breathe", a film that has exquisite cinematography in places, but I feel overall that it tried too hard, if that makes any sense.

There is some quote at the beginning that I've already forgotten, and then "Turnstile Blues" kicks in with almost machine-like precision, laying down the groundwork for HELLZ YEAH (sad when the score outshines the flick, but I'll take what I can get). Oh the protruding cartilage on the sides of my head got all tingly and hopeful. They were not disappointed as the song delivered with a nice laid back approach. The band didn't reach too far, but they caught the edge with finesse and ease down to the last note.

Autolux is from Los Angeles, and I had never heard of them. They have a sort of Apples in Stereo meets My Bloody Valentine sound, so I'm shocked at myself for not having discovered them outside of a soundtrack setting previous to now. I'll beat myself mercilessly with a bag of spiders when I'm done here, I swear.

"Turnstile Blues" is not a pop song. I adore pop songs (go look at my Myspace playlist - oops I went private, ok I'll put a playlist at the bottom of my blog), but I like a good, unconventional wad of noise every now and again. This particular piece sounds kind of like the band Pinback reworked the song "Cannonball" by The Breeders whilst double dosing on LSD.

I don't love, but I likes a lot.