Monday, July 27, 2009


Above: My neck & my bestie D.

My neck, my back
Lick my ... just like thatMy Neck, My Back - Khia

Isn’t it strange how much certain body parts have standards of beauty, yet others go on ignored? Long legs, broad shoulders, muscles, breasts, butts, feet, but you never hear of anyone having an elbow or eyelid fetish. Well, you may have, but not I.

I wouldn’t say I have a “fetish” per se, but I have things that inspire an appearance of the old horns, I must say. I loves me some shaggy hair, piercing eyes, super skinny body, but more than anything I like a long, almost birdlike neck. Maybe I was a horny ostrich in a former life, but I so dig that Ichabod Crane looking neck with a prominent Adam’s Apple. Fat or super muscular dudes don’t have these (unless they’re hiding under years of steroidal use or Chocodiles) but they creep me out anyways.

Elongated necks to an extreme are revered in some African and Asian cultures where heavy steel rings actually weigh down the collarbone and ribs till the wearer looks like E.T. . That is not something I would ever subscribe to or recommend, unless you have virtually NO neck, which I do find sort of creepy too.

The culture I grew up in isn’t into that Ubangi look, but we do like a nice long neck on our dancers, models, etc. Short-necked women are obsolete in ballet, but are prevalent in the sports world as are a plethora of short, thick necked men, and oddly enough film portrays most monsters and creepy villains with those same type of guys.

My favorite film neck belongs to the sexiest man on the planet, Cillian Murphy.

The hottest looking neck in the music world definitely sits below the head of Johnny Greenwood of Radiohead (best everything else belongs to Damian Kulash of OK Go, mmmmm).

I like all things neck related, not just kissy stuff, I love neck massages, singing, I occasionally make my own chokers with buffalo bone beads, and when I was younger I was really into vampire movies, books, and whatnot. I think necks are beautiful and it’s a damn shame that they’re the one thing you can’t surgically repair when age kicks in. You can Botox and stretch your eyebrows back to your ass, but the neck is yet to be savable.

The "waddle" is inevitable, unless you die young.