Monday, August 11, 2008

Fu Food July 1, 2008

"The world today seems absolutely crackers, with nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high. There are fools and idiots sitting on the trigger. It's depressing and it's senseless, and that's why...I like Chinese." I Like Chinese - Monty Python

MMMMMmmmmm yummy, just finished some Chicken Mei Fun mixed with Chicken and Garlic Sauce, my two faves from China Wok. It's not as good as NYC Chinese food, but for where I live, it works.

When I did eat Chinese food in NYC, I ate off a plate, as you do, but you notice in a lot of New York based movies they have characters eating the food directly from the containers?

Who the fuck really does that?

These annoyingly, pretentious ass holes that put scenes like that in a flick think its artsy or some shit to be in NYC eating take-out that way. I think it's disgusting and completely implausible if you eat what I eat; hot food that mostly has to be mixed with some separate ingredients. So unless you despise the nerve endings in your hand, or fantasize about having a glove made of sweet and sour sauce, it's all about the plate.

I ate Chinese food on a weekly basis in NYC (often with Chinese people, who would sooner implode than eat from a container like that), and never once saw anyone scarfing from the boxes.

Maybe it's just me that finds this irritating. I do have some quirks (don't even get me started on white shoes - yikes), but let's get back to what I likes. =)

Ok, the Chinese are not known for their chart topping hits. In fact, I can't name one musician (that isn't Classical) from where the Pandas hang (if you can, I really don't give a rat's booty, go write your own blog), but they do have some wild movies.

"Mr. Vampire", hands down is my favorite. If you like really awful b-movies, this will kill you. It's totally a Fu flick, so martial arts cats will dig it no matter what, but stoners and those of you imbibing in various other things will LOOOOOVE it.

It's one of those cheesy films where you can sometimes see the wires that the actors are hanging from, and the jonesy musical score is superb!

I'm not a Fu movie fan by any shot, but I nearly laughed out of my skin when I saw this one (stone cold sober, might I add).

If you can tolerate a bouncy, glitch-filled youtube version, it is available there in about ten segments from this guy: As far as downloads in any other capacity (wink wink), I've not come across it.

I've no intention of ever going to China (unless I hook up with one of those Panda singles); as far as I'm concerned the "Great Wall" was the one holding up the back part of the stage at CBGB's (may it RIP).

Besides, I heard the Chinese food there isn't that great. :}

Currently listening :
Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album
By Monty Python
Release date: 2007-04-10

Stalker Jesus Ranger June 30, 2008

(This blog probably only makes sense if you read a previous one I've written called "Guess Who Digs Me?" dated here on Sunday July 20th, first)

I guess Jesus doesn't read my blogs, cuz he's still scamming on me. Now it's even spread to my photo albums.

Yes the sponsored links are now leeching off the captions you put on your myspace photos. So like where I put "Me on Mt. Hood", there are ads for Mt. Hood resorts below it. I mention guitars or cats and get hounded to buy lessons or "Date Siamese Felines".

People's names bring up some interesting things. One was an ad for divorce lawyers, and it ironically showed up on my friend's pic that is going through a divorce. Creepy.

Out of the sheer need to NOT think my usual thoughts, I changed up a few of em just to see what ads popped up.

On one of my captions, I put "Fuck fuckety fuck you, you fucking fuckface" (I have a t-shirt with something close to that on it), and it pulled an ad for '69 Camaros.

On two others, I put "Murdering atheist vampire molester" and "Cookie brained armpit licker". Instead of finding something from that, the computer pulled from my profile interests ( I guess they're only willing to go so far).

The first one generated "Like the White Stripes?" which is clearly one of the bands I put down. The second one grabbed from my movies, somehow tying in "What the Bleep?" to financial freedom, and "I Heart the Huckabees" snagged an ad for Mike Huckabee Campaign GEAR ("Gear" really? Yeesh). Does he not know that McCain has won the Presidency, er em the nomination? (Let's not fool ourselves, he is the next president. Even Oprah can't change that, unless she ran as an indie. I wonder if everyone would get a car and a makeover then.)

I'm still not positive what is triggering the "Jesus" ads, but I'd be interested to find out if anyone else gets them.

I need to know if he's really into me, or if he's simply just another myspace whore.

Currently listening :
Lola versus Powerman and the Money-Go-Round, Part One
By The Kinks
Release date: 1990-10-25