Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Nast-ysics Part Two: Use with Caution 4/18/08

(Please read the post titled "Nast-ysics" before continuing here - just makes more sense that way.)

Nast-ysics can be fun and useful, but you really have to know when to pick your battles.

I went at someone with some purposeful CRAZY in hopes that they would get lost, but I'm off my game this week and it didn't work. There was a death in my family and my mom may be facing lung cancer (no she doesn't smoke), so I should've really tried to ignore instead of confront. It's so not advisable messing with CRAZY when things are bordering on iffy in your own life. Some people you just have to let be whatever it is that they are being, if it's within the bounds of law, of course. I certainly don't have it in me to do otherwise at present, and I just don't give a fuck.
I would also refrain from trying to out-crazy people that are what is considered "clinically" insane. With some folks, official diagnosis is yet to be determined, but this is only because these individuals have not yet sought help, or even think they need to. The internet is rife with such crackpots.

Early on, when I had first gotten a Yahoo account, I had my photo on the profile and thought nothing of it. That is, until a person who was into Cannibalism contacted me and told me I looked "tasty". He also expressed hopes that I wouldn't feel scared of him. Uhhhh…how the fuck else would one feel if someone who EATS people is licking their fingers as they leer in your direction? Most creeps undress you with their eyes, this guy probably fantasizes about what kind of dressing your eyes would best marinate in.

He didn't come right out and say he was a CANNIBAL, but I looked at his profile and there was a photo of a woman being roasted on a spit, and his "interests" showed that he belonged to a Yahoo group of CANNIBALS. Some other weird stuff was on there that my naïve ass Googled, and I wish I hadn't done so now, EW. Some things we're just better off NOT knowing.

Isn't consuming human flesh illegal and wouldn't belonging to a group of Cannibals also put yours in eminent danger? They could just as easily develop a craving for one of your knees as much as anyone else's. YUCK! Who could you really trust at the potluck dinners?

My insomnia is bad enough, imagine dating a Cannibal. You'd have to have one eye surgically altered to be kept open at all times in case your Boo was in the mood for a midnight snack. That takes "love bites" to a whole other level does it not? Ick, I just had a flashback of that movie "American Psycho". You KNOW which scene I'm thinking of, oh shivers!

It's hard enough in this world with all the ways that you can be sexually violated, but now one has to fret at the possibility of being masticated by some chubby accountant in Buttbrains, Oklahoma?

Needless to say, my yahoo profile is now about as beige and un-informing as Price Waterhouse's press secretary. (A little too Dennis Miller of me? It's an NDN thing.)

I definitely did not go head to head with this one; I simply lied and said I had a wonderful boyfriend that worked as a translator for the FBI. I don't like lying, but I like the idea of being eaten alive a lot LESS, so I ran with it.
Not all theories work on all people.

*Please use caution if you attempt to apply Nast-ysics to any of your own life situations. Deductive reasoning and sane responses are never a given, especially in a world that has online discussion groups for Cannibalism. Shame on Yahoo!

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