Monday, April 26, 2010

True Story: Most Dudes I Encounter Are Dbags

"I'll just nod, I've never been so good at shaking hands
I live on the frozen surface of a fireba
ll" 11th Dimension - Julian Casablancas

Monday, April 19, 2010 at 1:52am

I have no idea why I gave this guy my number a while back, I was bored, drunk, who the fuck knows?

He called this evening and after a quick reminder of who he was, hijacked my ear for seven straight minutes. I zoned out after about two, but then a text came in snapping me to consciousness so I severed into the one sided conversation with an excuse about having to meet a friend in ten minutes. It wasn't a lie, my cat was in the next room mixing martinis. He's one of my dearest friends with a penchant for punctuality that can't be ignored, and a genius when it comes to the libations.

I guess my participation wasn't expected in this phone conversation because he seemed quite taken aback as he asked me to repeat what I had just interjected. I did as he requested with a bit more pinch in my tone, but it went unnoticed as he preceded in asking me if I wanted to get dinner sometime.

I said "Thanks, but no."

He then asked me why I even gave him my number. I said I couldn't recall but that after hearing him on the phone, I had reconsidered.

"After HEARING ME? Wtf does that mean?" he asked.

"Well, from the second you rang, you've been the only one talking and haven't asked a single, fucking thing about me, not even 'How are you?' That shows me you aren't interested in my well being, or anything I have to say. There were no compliments sincere or otherwise in your rhetoric and that's a prerequisite to getting face time with me. If people don't say nice things to me or give a shit about anything I think, my ego can't get mentally or physically hard. If I'm not getting hard, then neither are you. These are the rules I now live by. I'm sorry but you come across as a narcissistic blowhard and I don't want to waste either of our precious minutes do you?"

The exquisite "click" sound of him terminating the call gave me more mental wood than I imagine he ever could.


Scott said...

Any number I've ever gotten at a bar was due to an urging from friends of mine to "man the fuck up" or some sort of masculine variant. Out of the X I've gotten (which is not a lot, mind you, and this isn't any sort of bragging point since it's AT A GODDAMN BAR and isn't really destined to go anywhere), I've called one back and it ended horribly. Also, all most dudes are, in fact, douchebags. So, yeah.

She Likes It Loud said...

Heheh Hey Scott =) I usually hate giving my number out. This was at a party not a bar and I've seen the guy a lot but never really talked. Never will again either. Hope NY is treating you well.

Scott said...

It's rare to find someone actively seeking phone numbers in a social setting who isn't looking for sex (or worse, a relationship). You'd be hard pressed to find that charming individual who wants to speak to you at odd hours about what your point of view is on life, the universe and everything. You'd be dumbfounded if said individual actually respected or listened to anything you said (should silly hypothetical situation arise). Again, most dudes are, in fact, douchebags.

Alas, NY is amazing. Despite having lived outside of the city for 18 years of my life and in the city for about 1, I'm still amazed and have yet to even scratch the surface in terms of exploration. After working for so many months, I'm finally taking a vacation (Florida) trying to write something (a play) and trying to get a band together (noone really listens to shoegaze or VU in Brooklyn?). Progress, I suppose.

She Likes It Loud said...

I miss it. I miss the food, everything. I miss the West Village in the spring, I miss Murray's Cheese Shop, I miss Italian Bakeries on Court Street in Brooklyn, and I miss people with brains that are semi-interesting. Serious lack of that here. My friend who is the drummer of Submarine Bells listens to Shoegaze and VU and he's in Greenpoint heheheh.