Why is it that everytime I go into a store there is an inconsolable screaming child?
Everyone around me was like "Geeze what's with that kid?" with slight concern eminating from their curiousity, whereas my immediate thought was "I've got condoms somewhere right? Oooh are those too old by now?"
The Infantus Scream-A-Saurus seemed to be powerlocked within my earshot no matter where I went in the store.
Mind you, I was already irritable because I couldn't find any chocolate that didn't contain milk and I was mentally sending out a big "FUCK U" to potato chip manufacturers for putting wheat in "Salt N Vinegar" chips. WHY???? WHYYYYYYY???? 2 more months of this no dairy, no grain/gluten thing may be the end of me yet!
All I needed at this point was some gum snapping bitch behind me in line at the register yapping at full volume on her phone about stuff that'd make anyone's ears eject copious amounts of spurt-quality blood.....
SHE arrived like it was part of some sick plan. The Yowling Gum Snap-A-Saurus. Where was Scot Blakely when I needed him most?
10 deep breaths subjugated the urge to stab her and luckily my cashier zipped me through free of complications that might involve "management".
One should never shop when they're hungry.
Currently listening : London Calling By The Clash Release date: 25 January, 2000
Sean Kilpatrick
4 years ago
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